John A Penzotti, author of five blue haired ladies
 
Other Available Titles by John A. Penzotti


I SOLD MYSELF ON EBAY
Dramatic Stage Comedy
Roles: 4 Female, 1 Male

Alice Cannistar can't quite find her fairy-tale ending. And while living happily ever after for most people involves growing up, getting married and so on, even though she's done all that, Alice still clings to the missing pieces of her childhood. Yes, she ’s tried getting out of the bad relationship she’s in… Unfortunately, it’s the one she’s having with herself.

When she learns that the toys and games taken from her, when the family lost everything, can be found on the auction block at ebay.com, she becomes more than a kid in a candy store, she's an all out glutton! And while she may find it very comforting to once again be surrounded by Barbie, an E-Z Bake Oven and Mr. Potato Head, her husband Ted finds it just the opposite: Especially when every dime of their life savings has gone into purchasing toys and games.  Though she loves Ted deeply, he knows that she still clings to who she used to be, thinking it defines her. But thanks to her friends, Sasha, Betty and Pamela who employ therapy, Chardonnay, straight forward interventions and even emotional blackmail, they remind her that, “A memory is something you should carry with you, not drag around behind you.”

Once Alice is finally uprooted from the bottom of the toy box back to reality, she must make things right with Ted and in doing so, settling herself as well. And sure, they all live happy ever after, but what comes beforehand is filled with tears, surprises and laughter that raises more than an eyebrow, it will lift your heart.
 

ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE!
Dramatic Stage Comedy:
Roles: 3 Female

Oscar Wilde once said that there are only two true tragedies in life. The first is not getting what you want and the second is getting it.

If you manage to pass muster and get into Brooklane Country Club, you will meet three ladies who aren't quite sure which is worse, but always hope for the best. Meet Ruth, Estelle and Gloria, whose lives depend on making the grade and graduating into 'the good life.'  But only two are ‘pledging’ the club, the third is trying to maintain her standing. Gloria has been put on probation and therefore given the task of taking a pair of Eliza Doolittles and making them ‘Brooklane material’

To Ruth, an in at Brooklane means everything; she has dreamed of it all her life. Now that her husband Harry is a wealthy dentist, their tax returns have become hall passes.

Estelle has joined for her husband Joe, a luxury car dealer looking to unload a few more sets of keys so that they can 'be all they can be...' kind of like the army, but with tin foil swans. For the sake of the family name, Gloria has spent her life at Brooklane in sophisticated and quiet repose, hiding from, or turning a blind eye to her own disdain. But in the past year or so she has allowed the more jaded side of her diamond collection to show... Often quite loudly and after a few dry martinis.

Unless she ushers these two lambs to greener pastures, the slaughter is imminent. Will Gloria merely tell Estelle and Ruth the ins and outs of keeping Mimsi Boswell from cornering you in the Ladies Lounge, or more importantly, the location of every fire exit? Fire or not.


--------------------------------- NOVEL ---------------------------------------

TURNING: A BLOODLINE CONFESSION
is the narrative of one man’s history… both before and after his death… natural death that is. Over the centuries, with immortality came wisdom; with wisdom came power.  And, though infected with a 16th Century Plague from which ‘turning‘saved him, he seeks to use it in order to change history. Rising up during the late 19th century after a long sleep, when AIDS has become the new plague, he sees history, destined to repeat itself – the fear, witch-hunts, hysteria and paranoia that turned a community into itself for fear of persecution.  Can it be altered by someone who saw the first hand the effects of a blighting plague centuries ago?  Can blood, one of the swiftest carriers of the disease, be Gabriel’s saving grace and weapon through all this?

Upon realizing that the Black Plague fell dormant in his body when he was ’turned’ as it had nothing to feed off of, he tested his theory out on a willing victim named Wesley in NYC centuries later, where most of our story takes place. Once Wesley was turned and lived, it was apparent that blood carrying even the smallest trace amount of Gabriel ’s, when mixed with that of a newly created vampire (infected by today’s plague, AIDS), could exist without fear of decay or succumbing to the disease.  After all, the body was no longer creating new cells… so no new cells were available for attack. And, somehow the two diseases seemed to cancel each other out before and after the body had died.

Armed with this knowledge, Wesley and Gabriel set out to spare as many lives as they could, ironically by killing them first and then turning them. But there were few things that he did not take into account, either due to zeal, ignorance or a working knowledge of 20th Century man ‘s inhumanity to man. One; that AIDS was to become a more powerful and long lasting adversary than the Black Plague and that two; a revolution of separatist vampires would ‘act-up’ to strike down those who persecuted them as afflicted and diseased. Or three; the one who created Gabriel all those centuries ago would return to lead that revolution, scheming and undermining all he had done, almost to the point of all their destructions. Now, Gabriel finds him battling his own kind, his Mentor and Maker as well as the knowledge that he may have created something just as bad as that which he sought to destroy … a new kind of plague, one of his own making.
(Unpublished & available in manuscript form.)